Master Procrastinator

I have a 2000-word article to edit and fine-tune. It has potential, is a fairly interesting task, and is due in another few hours.

I also have to shortlist and buy the stuff in my Amazon cart, stuff I added enthusiastically for my brother's fast-approaching birthday. Then, I have to figure out which cross-continent courier service I'm going to be using to send the items to him.

And all that's not even work stuff. Or stuff that needs to be done around the house. 

Instead of doing any of these things, I decided to start a new blog on Blogger (because the other three or so I have lying around in various states of neglect weren't enough). I tend to be stubbornly repetitive and predictable, that way. 

I don't know what the purpose of this blog is, though. So, that's new.

Back when I was a teenager, I had a Blogger account into which I used to pour my heart out in a (now) grossly unintelligible SMS-style text format. I needed to get stuff out of my head, and I was terrified of my family members being privy to the greasy creaking of my innermost cogs.

Today, I wouldn't mind people knowing what goes on inside my head, mostly because I don't know what goes on in there. Plus, I'm not afraid of looking like a fool, of being judged or mocked or ridiculed. Ah, what I would have done to have this mindset, even 15 years ago. But this seemingly strong banyan of a person could never dream of possessing the native strength and resilience that her younger, childhood self had. 

Ultimately, everything is a barter, true to the capitalist world we live in. You're constantly exchanging something for something else, finding old items dropping in value while new-fangled, odd-shaped pieces of yourself seem to be ever in demand.

Anyway, I was talking about the purpose of this blog. I still don't know. But maybe not knowing is going to be worth it, this time. Not knowing has resulted in me typing out a whole page in under 30 minutes. It might not be the quality content I think myself capable of, but it's something new, something alive that wasn't there half an hour ago.

And if every time I procrastinate on important things, I wind up writing something down, I might actually sustain a blog for the first time. 

Promises. Promises.